Hungry for Light

BERLIN (Reuters) - Firefighters called to a blaze at an apartment building in a southern German town were astonished to discover a fully equipped extremely drunk imposter in their ranks, police said on Thursday.

On hearing the alarm, the 38-year-old man had rushed to the fire station, was helped into protective clothing and helmet by unsuspecting firefighters and boarded the fire engine, a spokesman for Suedhessen police said.

After arriving at the apartments, firefighters quickly realized the man was an imposter and called the police, he added.

“When fire breaks out, it’s all hands on deck!” the man told officers when questioned about his motives. He was released without charge after sobering up overnight in a police cell.

(Reporting by Iain Rogers)

I haven’t been alone much recently.  Work, school, and everything with Kami and the baby.

I was thinking about that reality as I was driving to Subway today to eat alone for the first time in probably 2 months.  Actually, the first time I’ve been alone (besides car drives) sitting still in 2 months period.  And something wonderful happened.  Now maybe it is just that I’m an introvert and get ‘charged’ from being alone, or maybe my life is too loud, too busy, and too demanding.  Regardless, something changed as I sat down at Subway

It was after the lunch rush and so I was pretty much left to myself to eat.  Then, out of left field (or maybe heaven), I was aware of the various smells surrounding me.  This may sound absurd or strange, but I dont usually live so much in the moment.  I’m usually so focused on a task or job or what will be my task or job in the near (and not so near) future.  In other words, I’m usually a planner and do’er so much so that I miss normal things- things like smell and color.

Not so now, I actually smelt the bread being cooked and tasted the sub I was eating, instead of just eating to be full.  Then, I started seeing colors differently.  The world all of a sudden had life and brightness.  I felt like I was being awakened.  At this point I’m beginning to suspect “Somebody” might be wanting my attention, Somebody might be trying to impress me- so I started focusing more on Him and on how cool life is and how awesome He is to me for ‘waking’ me up a little bit.

I finished my sub and walked outside.  Before I went into Subway the air was normal and the sky clear, but now as I stepped outside the air seemed to be competing to enter my nostrils and impress me with the smell of the coming rain.  Clouds were gathering in the distance, and the whole earth was opening up in anticipation of the coming water.

God blindsided me like the rain coming to the Metroplex today.  It’s unexpected but always welcomed, its desired but not always seen.  Well today I saw it, and my soul cried out in longing for Him.  And in response the sky is filled with clouds..the promise of rain.  I too am filled with the promise of rain.  My sky is being taken over, the air is held hostage to the sweet aroma of that promise…and it’s like all I have to do is open up and be ready in anticipation like the earth around me.  I am swept away today, and it feels good to just go along with the flow of what He’s doing and just respond out of a grateful heart.

The past has a losing streak against the present.

I was thinking about this today as I mused over the recent musical “Wicked” that retells the Wizard of Oz’s character the Wicked Witch of the West.  I find it ironic, sad, and amusing all at the same time how an author in the present can come into the picture and cast a different hue on a story well known.  Good can become evil, and evil good.  Insignificance turns to insignificance, up becomes down!

Re-vision.  “Re” meaning back or again.  Vision meaning the way you see things.  The present is always pressing because, well, its always present.  We cant go back in time, so our memory always takes on the hue of the present.  Senses change from what actually was to a mixture of what is and what was.

After all, revisionists have even tried to turn Jesus gay.

It’s a good thing we have a ‘present’ God that is also ‘past’ and ‘future’…

It’s a good thing we don’t just have to remember or hope, but we can experience presently as well.

Inspired by Bonnie’s recent blogging-thanks to her I’m counting syllables all day, every day- even in business meetings:
————

mens minds are stubborn

mine is especially so

what can force a change?

…

as I leave for work

the drive could change my focus

but I still see her

…

to remember, bliss

to anticipate, a gift

but to live- heaven

We’re having a BOY!

His name will be Elihu Anav Lankenau. 

Elihu means “He is my God.” It also means fiery defender of God’s righteousness because Elihu was Job’s youngest companion who defended God’s righteousness.

Anav means meek (lit. a beaten path for the movement of people from one place to another- this is the word God used to describe Moses as the meekest man on earth).

Yes, I do have a smile plastered to my face right now.

If only all my math teachers were this practical.

and of course, the sizing up factor:

Where does one’s affection originate from? In the heart? Well, that’s a picturesque way of putting it, but certainly emotion doesn’t originate from your right ventricle. The heart, after all, is simply a muscular organ. Put even more simply, your heart is flesh.

This can lead to a subtle deception: that what you feel originates from your flesh, and that as a believer in Jesus these feelings should be put to death. After all, shouldn’t we be crucified with Messiah, dead to all that was before, so that we can get His heart, His feelings?

This leads to an even deeper folly in my estimation: that the only love we have is the love that God put in us through Jesus, it really has nothing to do with us. Therefore if we have no passion or excitement it is simply because we are waiting on God to give it to us. We have every right to be passive because we haven’t received our instructions yet! Are we simply robots, operating under a system of instructions- love being programmed into us? This leads to the “one magical day” error- that one magical day everything will suddenly click and you will be like Messiah- loving like Him, living like Him, being just like Him!

So back to the original question: where does affection originate from? We have seen the not-too-happy road of the flesh, so let me propose something else. Our affection comes from the soul- the very being of who you and I are. I define the soul as the inward man (romans 7:22), or consciousness and awareness that you exist and can think and make decisions. Romans 7 and 8 talks much of this. We have our “mind” (meaning inner being, not “intelligence” or “smartypants syndrome”), or our awareness of the law of God- and in it is the desire to obey and choose to follow (yea, even delight in) the law of God; but ,because of the choices of man going all the way back to Adam and Eve, another law is at work. The law of the flesh, of sin and death. Affection therefore, is simply the process of connecting the choice of the mind to the thing chosen. I choose to sin, and because of that, my affection is turned towards that sin and connects me to it. The affections are the “tentacles of the mind/inner man” that connect me to what is chosen.

The reality is that we are made in the image of God- and we have the choice to turn our affections toward something. Throughout history the natural “bent” has been to choose the flesh, but this does not make our affections wrong in and of themselves- but we can have fleshly aligned affections which are wrong. However, we have been set free (romans 8!) by Jesus from this. It is because of His great affection (love) for us that sets us free and gives us the room to then give Him our affection (love) back. “We love Him because He first loved us…” Now all of a sudden, we arent robots- we arent passive beings waiting for the day when something clicks. We have the choice to turn and set our affection on Him- because of His great affection toward us. It is in this that we change…no condemnation keeping us clinging to our old desires- because of His great affection towards us. And here is how we know we are sons and daughters, not His robots. That we can now set our mind on Him, the Son having set us free, and the Spirit pointing us to Him. And it is here that our affection, once used for things of the flesh, are renewed and reborn for laying hold of Abba, Father Himself, as a son or daughter.

What are you hungry for? What is your affection connected to? Do you know that you can love Him more? Did you know that you can be hungry for Light Himself? There’s nothing holding you back - old ties are severed, it is time for the true ties to be formed in every area of our inner man, completely renewed, a living sacrifice.

Romans 8:5-6- 5For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

My mind is a battleground. Not a very comforting thought but Romans 8 makes the truth unavoidable.

My flesh and spirit do battle here. I do what I dont want to do and dont do what I do want to do. Yeah, the end of Romans 7 is more than just an ancient tongue twister. A lot of people think Paul was referring to his younger years when writing this down, that somehow he had become holier and was just referring to the day when his flesh was still alive. I’m more of the persuasion that he was writing about what was going on his life right then, that week.

My mind knows the law, knows right and wrong, and knows God. My mind has two choices, to obey the flesh- that thing thats opposed to God, that thing thats selfish and angry and wants it easy; or to obey the Spirit- the life given to me through Jesus, the unity with His Holy Spirit.

It sounds easy, but its not. It sounds like it should be a onetime war thats done and over with, but its not.

My mind is constantly grasping for something, some mode of expression, some avenue for experience. It is always seeking to connect. Like tentacles, they are always grasping and reaching, and they will always find something- either the flesh or the spirit. Resurrecting the dead is easier than I think, I do it nearly every day to the life that I was so sure had died with Christ so that I could live with Him. It’s life in the spirit, or death in the flesh.

I have this hope…yes, even this reality: That I have become a son of God, a heir, and a inheritor of the Spirit to lead and conform me. And though it’s hard a lot of the time, what can I say? It’s temporary, and besides, He loves me.

I often despise my groanings, my graspings, my little battles and wars. This is because I fail so much. But I remind myself that there is no condemnation since I am in Him. It is His great love and desire that is teaching me in my weakness and hunger for Him to become a conqueror. Yes, it is a process- a long, hard, and arduous one. But when I find myself bogged down in it, its because I havent looked up recently. When I finally do, looking away from all the muckity muck, I still see the Father loving and accepting me and cheering me on, the Spirit groaning and moving with me, and the Son always with me- interceding, and being that open door. Condemnation I certainly dont see, though I often expect to.

It is here that my burden lifts, it is here that I remember the peace I have as I walk, and it is here that I love Him more. I remember that I’m not just in this process for “one day down the road,” I’m in it for today- to be near Him, to love Him, to become more like Him. Because I know only a fraction of what He has saved me for and why He desires me so very much.

His eyes tell all, His groanings confirm and lift up my heart- and my minds little tentacles gravitate a little more towards the spirit.

Bring me to life, Lord!

A sunfaring man
With outstretched arms
Hugs time
Remembering the tide-washed dreams of men
Born and those still yet to be

Thats from a poem by autistic savant Daniel Tammet…and this end is what caught my attention. I’ve said before that time is one of the greatest commodities that we as humans have. There is a desire deep within me to be known as a “sunfaring man with outstretched arms.” To be one who lives in the light of Light Himself. Fully exposed with outstretched arms that both surrender to and embrace Him and His processes.

To hug time? What a thought! To make the most of every second to be conformed to the very image of Jesus. To follow and pursue, to surrender and obey, to love and love deeply. This is preparation for eternity. We all have dreams of who we are and what we are made to be.

Time can crush us..
Or it can mold us.

Muse, my favorite band, is coming here Sunday!! I’m excited.

Lead singer was a concert pianist turned rocker and is one of the most prolific guitar players I’ve ever heard. Their vocal range is incredible as well. Coupled with the bass and drummers driving beats, this 3-piece sounds like 7-piece live. They have a very unique sound, almost spacey with the effects that they get. Also, when he changes from guitar to piano or play a piano loop, its like nothing you’ve ever heard before…

Oh, and they are voted the best live show in Europe

Heres a taste of what I’ll be seeing in 2 days: